Why did I pray?

World Vision's Kari Costanza traveled to Rwanda, where she met Solange, whose life was turned upside-down in a short period of time.

Fighting caused Solange and her family flee their home in the Democratic Republic of Congo. After arriving in Kiegeme refugee camp, Solange lost her 3-year-old daughter, Rebecca.

Kari met Solange in a hospital, where she was staying with her baby, Esther. Kari shares her thoughts on meeting Solange and Esther -- and the tragic news she received after returning to the United States.

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In the United States, it’s easy to escape from God. Escape is a text message or a Facebook post away. But when I travel overseas, nothing clouds my relationship with God. Between Him and me is only blue sky.

I feel God as stories unfold. I am a journalist, and I understand the tools I need to get a good story, but often the stories I find aren’t just good -- they’re great. When people tell me their stories in a way that is dignified and true, I know that finding them had nothing to do with me.

I felt God a few weeks ago in Rwanda. Videographer Lisa Berglund and I visited a refugee camp that has sprung up on a hillside for families who fled from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. We’d learned that children were dying of malnutrition in the camp, and World Vision was going to begin nutritional support.

You can’t just walk into a refugee camp and begin asking questions. Protocols must be observed. So Lisa and I went to the nearby hospital to talk with doctors and nurses. They said we could visit the ward with malnourished children. Mothers and children sat quietly in a big green room on small twin beds. Some of the children had IVs. They all looked forlorn.

One mother sitting in the corner, cradling her baby, was beautiful and regal. I made eye contact with her.

Solange was at the hospital with her baby, Esther, who was just 18 months old. The family had fled the Congo to avoid fighting. They left behind a house and a banana plantation. Their children had been in school. Now, they were living in a tiny tent with nothing -- not even a mattress.

Solange had been to the hospital just weeks ago with her daughter, Rebecca, who was sick with a problem the doctors couldn’t diagnose. The 3-year-old had died in that very room where Solange now sat.

As we were preparing to leave, Solange asked me to pray for her.

I knelt by Solange and prayed that she and her family would get food, blankets, and a mattress. That peace would come to Congo so they could go home. I prayed for Rebecca, thanking God for her too-short life. And, of course, for baby Esther, that she would recover.

A few weeks after we returned to the United States, I received an email from a World Vision colleague in Rwanda:

It is with great sorrow that I announce the death of Esther, Solange Uwase’s daughter, the child in the story you recently did while you were here in Rwanda…Let us pray God strengthens Solange during this difficult moment.

In my office, I cried. How could this happen? How could Solange lose not one but two daughters?

And what about my prayer? As far as I know, none of my prayers at Solange’s bedside have been answered. The conflict continues in the Congo. I’m certain that Solange still has no mattress to sleep on, and the children don’t have the food and clothing they need.

And baby Esther is dead.

When I am faced with questions I cannot answer, I turn to people who can.

My friend Mark wrote: “This can be a tough job, and when things like this happen, it often makes you question why you do it at all. But in moments of darkness, there is always light. There are people you have met who have been forever positively changed. Families who were struggling have received help.”

Mark is right. In the moments of darkness, there is always light. Perhaps Solange’s story will touch the hearts of people who care and can make a difference for the families in that camp.

Esther’s face is etched along the corridors of my mind, and Solange’s pain is imprinted on my heart. Those images and feelings keep me doing what I do: finding the stories God wants told. It’s how I know who God is. That alone is a reason to keep writing.

And praying -- even when my prayers aren’t answered in the way I desire.

UPDATE: World Vision Rwanda and UNHCR are currently working on a partnership to help alleviate malnutrition at the refugee camp.

Make a one-time gift to help women and children affected by conflict in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Your donation will help provide life-saving care through interventions like nutritious food, agricultural support, medical care, and more.


    Hi Susan,

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on Kari's story with us. It's great to know that stories like this are reaching caring people like you!


    Lindsey, WV Staff

    This is a terrible blow for a family. I have shed tears after watching the video and reading this entry. It is hard to think of a community of people without food to eat and children dying while I live in the US where we live with such waste. I have two children and can't imagine losing both of them as Solange has lost two of her children. Her grief must be so great, and when the day comes where she can return back home, the hardest part will be not having her two children there with her that she lost. My heart also goes out to this family and the many families there who have lost. Thank you for sharing this story.

    Kari, thank you for your story - I hope that you will continue to visit these areas and impact lives simply by praying, caring, and reaching out - and informing those of us who can't be where you are - but who still care enough to sponsor children and pray for them and their families.
    As a mother of four and grandmother of eight, I cannot help but weep when I read stories such as Solange's. I am thankful for the work World Vision and other organizations do with monetary assistance from those of us who have the financial means. I pray that even more people will open their hearts and wallets to aid those who do not have.
    Finally, I am thankful that we have an eternal home to look forward to where families will be united and there is no sorrow.

    Thank you for courageously sharing this beautiful story about people God placed in your path.

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